Just wanted to let you all know that yes, I made it to my 20th birthday. It was fine. At dinner, I had chicken parmigiana and a carrot cake. We didn't sing or light candles, and my present was mostly underwear (which I needed). I wouldn'ts say I got shortchanged because they've spent a shitload on me and school-related stuff recently. Realistically, It's practical, all of this, and I'm thankful to my parents for being so nice and loving (my mom gave me not 1, but 3 different cards). Still, I am a little sad.

But I'm an adult now.

LSAT prep is kicking my ass but I will master it soon enough to do well on the test. I want to increase my score by a lot of points so it's going to require lots of study which I'll be tackling later today, but really I should be working on this throughout the day. Whether or not people realize this, It's harder than I thought to be logical and find argument flaws, and we make them all the time in our opinions. Because this is work best suited for logical people (which I am not naturally), I'm a little scared how well I'll do. But no matter what, I'm still a good analyst with my English major and I can do this I can do this I can do this *repeats like a mantra*

I spoke to Josh last night and it felt.. well.. like we were FWBs. But trying to explain that sense coupled with that still loving him thing is still hard to do. I only know that I feel lonely right now. And while I missed being flirted with while at U of M cuz nobody tossed a bone my way (too many skinny blondes everywhere to even take a second glance at a more-than-curvy dark-haired black chick) here in Chicago I get talked to all the time by looooooooooossssseeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrs and it makes me wonder where the good men are. I want to have an intelligent conversation with one who doesn't automatically think he's smarter than me because his vocabulary includes esoteric (I swear I heard somebody use that in a sentence yesterday and all I wanted to do was punch him. How does that even come up in everyday life?).

So I'll probably be getting a job at some time after taking the LSAT which is better for me, but I wish it could be sooner so I could pay my bills which are piling up.. Hopefully I can get this credit card paid down if not paid off and fix my credit.. oboy. I won't be telling this to the 'rents, and you better not either if you know what's good for you.

Well, back to the daily grind of the ever-expanding mind. That means LSAT prep. It also means I'll see you later.