more of the same old blah

Ok so.. I have been being stupid and just like a boy have been masturbating to erotic stories while my roommate is asleep (so it's not like she could see something dirty on my monitor), but thing is I'm not sure if she sees me when she tosses and turns... not sure. It's really embarrassing and I had to get it off my chest before I exploded so thanks for listening and not being too weirded out.


And thanks again for reading further. Nothing interesting going on other than that. I paid $60 worth of parking tickets so my mom's name would be cleared and the police couldn't arrest one of us. They can put out a warrant for your arrest after 4 tickets. So umm.. yeah.

I've been looking at more LGBT websites to find support groups for bisexual females.. There are a lot of girls/women who feel this way, I think, only they won't call it that unless they're having sex. I am not having sex with women at this point (and I doubt I ever could, in real life since I'm so damned sexually repressed) but that I'm sexually attracted to other women is one of the definitions of bisexuality. I still can't fathom an actual relationship with them.

Yes I know I continue to say the same thing in every post but it's at the forefront of my mind.

I've been feeling sad a lot lately, down... It's to be expected of course after last week. It's been a week since I've been with Josh and I'm angry at him for being so darn addictive so I'm being a tad mean to prove to myself that I can get along without him. Sometimes I wish he'd just stop reading my journals or talking to me so I could tune him out, but that idea is preposterous for two reasons: I dont want him to stop talking to me (maybe not so often, but not stopping altogether) and I could never tune him out completely. Argh. Snap out of it, Laura.

I'm gonna go to sleep for a while I guess cuz WQ dinner sucks tonight. Do something to cheer me up.

Oh plus I dyed my hair lighter reddish brown on Friday night... pictures forthcoming.