Today I didn't really do much different except a bit of fasting and purging.. it was kind of weird but I did feel a lot better afterward. And I restricted my caloric intake to approximately 1000 calories, which isn't really that bad. It's not like I have a ton of willpower so that's like awesome for me. I still haven't worked out yet though, but I'm always so lethargic... I kind of want to tell someone about this but I know they'll mostly be upset and treat me like a pariah so it's not worth it. Josh knows obviously but I don't think he knows what to do, which is fine cuz I don't have to change my behavior.. the only problem that may arise is when I go home this weekend my parents are gonna try and make me eat food and I'm probably gonna binge on it and have to purge in secret with the water on or something.. that's not gonna be that fun. I really don't want to drive down after work on Friday cuz I'm usually tired on Fridays and then turn around and drive back on Sunday afternooon.. oh well I guess I don't really have a choice.

I'm tired of being at school with all these kids who are on the right track.. I just want to slap them cuz I'm going at normal pace and they're going faster.. Fuck them. They just make me feel worse about myself. Whatever. I'll be out of here soon.