Things have been alright lately.. I guess I've mostly had my head in the sand, trying to avoid the inevitable. Even though I'm avoiding the sucky stuff for the most part, I know that when everything comes later on it'll really blow. Ah well.

This weekend Josh and I have plans to go to dinner and then hang out a little at his house since I'll be here for actual Valentine's Day. It should be interesting, as we've decided not to spend money on each other as far as purchasing gifts. He's going to dress up a little for me (meaning no jeans and a t-shirt--slacks and a button down, finally) and I'm giving him a massage. I don't have plans for it to be sensual, just a massage that will relax his muscles. You can find anything on the internet, even directions on how to give a first-class massage.

It's funny, but I don't really feel that aura or glow of love surrounding this holiday this year. To be quite honest, I feel rather numb. Instead of indulging this feeling of blah, I've decided to go even deeper into the spirit of love and try my best to make it romantic, etc. Josh and I have plans to read poems to each other and stuff like that. I wrote mine, but it's not very good on account of I just don't feel lovey that way, for some reason. Not that I don't love him, but I just can't wrap my mind around little hearts for a whole weekend. Maybe that means when we get together the day will be way better than either of us expects. That would be good. Anyways...

I suppose I should also talk about how I've decided to go through with the whole not being a doctor thing. It's been at the back of my mind, gnawing away at my sanity as I go through with these science classes and curse myself for not having the desire or the aptitude to finish them. I've told my parents and they are really being supportive right now, which is great. I still feel a little depressed for letting my former self down. But it's about doing something that will make you happy, not necessarily rich and/or stressed beyond belief. And maybe it's better this way; the way I get stressed out, residency would wreak havoc on my poor little brain. Anyway, I guess I'll go to graduate school for English or something and figure out what's going on there... Perhaps I could be an editor for a publishing company.. that would be interesting. I like reading and I tend to finish books at a rapid pace. I'd love to edit romance novels, actually. Oh boy. This whole not knowing where I'm going exactly thing is rather scary.

Welcome to the real world, right?