I haven't felt like writing in a long time, but I do feel the need to let everyone know that I'm not dead at this point and time. I did spend a bit of time in the hospital because they thought I was dangerous to myself, but I never actually did anything overtly. I experimented a little with pills but never actually attempted suicide with them--just experimented. And it's not to say that now that I'm out I don't feel like killing myself anymore, but I know better than to blast that all over everywhere. People always want to intervene.

Josh and I are broken up until further notice and it bums me out more than I even thought it would. He wants the experience of dating other women just "to make sure this is right" and I'm pretty much miserable about it. It's not that great when you're depressed already... Anyways there's a lot more to tell but I don't have the stamina to go there. Maybe I'll fill you in more on life a bit later.