All of a sudden I have that Maroon 5 song "She Will Be Loved" stuck in my head.


Anyway, I was just thinking that I never write any deep thoughts anymore. It's not that I'm thinking less or experiencing less, but that there's just some things I've learned to keep inside. As I've grown older, I've realized the importance of keeping certain things to oneself. Of course there are the nosey who will tell you that every single flicker of thought upon the screen of your mind should be publicly projected, but that's bull. And just because people have a backstage pass to your show doesn't mean you have to let them in while you take a pee.

Hmm.. Good metaphors. Not great, but good. But I digress.

I've also been thinking a lot about predestination and things of that nature. I suppose the pagan would call it "fate" or whatever. I prefer to think that God has a vested interest in what goes on in our ephemeral little lives, interest vested enough to reach in and orchestrate things such that He makes himself known to us. There really are some things in my life that I can't explain other than through God. For one thing, how does it ever work out that I pay my tuition for UM every year? I didn't incur any debt until last year, and even then it was minute. How could I have won all those scholarships, things for which I was underqualified? What persuaded these people with goo-gobs of money to give to smart, talented kids, to pick me out of the masses of applicants? How could they see my heart, despite my crappy G.P.A. and interview jitters? Don't get me wrong, folks. I'm by no means the cream of the crap, but I'm not the bizomb either. And I just wonder how it all would have worked out had I not had people in the background praying for me.

Life would suck so bad if God didn't love you. Do you know that? Even if you don't explicitly believe in him, He still loves you. To make it personal, I know He loves me even in spite of myself, which is completely awesome. And a lot of times, I just feel really really guilty. I treat him like a lame friend that I only hang out with when nobody's looking.

Geez. I was so not going to type that previous paragraph, but you all need to know.

So... On a less intense note, I had plans to see Garden State tonight, but it seems like everyone's busy or has seen it already. I also have two papers to write for tomorrow's classes, leaving little chance of making it to the State Street Theater by 7 or 9 tonight. Maybe this weekend.

Umm.. I guess that's pretty much it. Happy Thursday all.